You reach a certain point where you spend more time thinking rather than talking. You discover yourself after all these years of having other people discover you.
I was always one to make friends, to meet people, to enjoy the presence of others.
I remember being only 14 and meeting my best friend. I label her that because, well, she was the best friend I ever had.
It was a Monday and I hate Mondays. I wake up every morning to my mother complaining about something and this time it was about laundry. As much as she annoys me with her nagging I actually enjoy doing laundry for the simple fact it makes me smell clean.
After what seemed like 5 hours, I finally get to dry my clothes and this maybe… 60 year old, shaggy looking man, stood in my way. His eyes were fixed on the dryers and he doesn’t seem to feel my presence behind him. He fixes his dark blue beanie and as he turns he realizes he’s in my way and apologizes. He kept his eyes on me and resumed his old position and my first thought was, “Great, some pervert.”
He walks towards the dryer next to mine and he slightly rocks back and forth on his heels. I glanced up and he was slightly glancing at me whenever I turned my head sideways. I didn’t really say anything, so I continue to look at the ground.
"Do you happen to know the time young lady?"
My initial thought was “Young lady?”, but I answered quickly.
"Thank you sweetheart!"
As creeped out as I was talking to a stranger I just went back to my laundry.
"Crazy weather we had yesterday, don’t you think?"
I took it as if he wanted to have a conversation with me so I gave feedback. We chatted about the storm and how we both didn’t have power the whole day yesterday. I’m not sure how he started talking about his army days but I found it worthy of listening to so I stop what I was doing. He had told me he served for 5 years as an engineer starting at 18. He had a beautiful wife at home with his two boys and his tone was proud. He told me everynight he would look at stars and repeat the same wish which was to be back home with his family. His story was so detailed, I’m not doing him justice by explaining it now.
Unfortunately he became wounded and his back never worked the way it used to. With that being said he slowly started massaging his lower back in circular motions.
His presence was genuine and genuinity is what I don’t get enough from people I just meet. We shared a few laughs here and there and it ended since my ride was waiting for me.
I came back approximately 30 minutes later and I couldn’t find him. So I sat down. Instinctively, I turned my head and I see him coming my way.
"I was looking for you. I was just leaving, but I’m glad we had a wonderful conversation dear."
Our smile exchanges were the last of this random meeting. Amazing how attached you can get to someone whose name is… irrelevant.
But what I love more are surprising other people. I love their reactions and it makes me feel good inside. When I have an idea for a surprise, no doubt I’ll go through with it 100% So whoever’s on my list, watch out.
On a self realization level, I know I changed. Whether it be from my looks, my goals, my likes-dislikes, or how I perceive what’s fun and what’s stupid. As much as I change I can still see my old habits shining through and I guess that’s what makes me who I am today. I worry a lot but I try to think positive. I hang onto past issues but I look forward to the future. I’m my worst enemy by overthinking but I’m my best pep talker. Overall, as much as you change, those little habits that you want to better yourself from are what brought you to the present. And to me, the present is treating me pretty darn good.
They’re uncalled for & come out of no where. If they were relevant to the situation, then fine. But considering it isn’t? Creating drama & hate won’t solve anything. Assuming that one person is more admirable than another doesn’t do anything either
I’m just looking at my mom and her boyfriend play with my brother from a distance and I have to say when they’re not fighting and acting immature and just focusing their free time on playing with him they would actually pass for a normal couple with no problems.
(which is very soon) and have a car I’m going everywhere, ANYTIME. It seriously sucks depending on people for rides and they bail. With my own ride, I can pick whoever I want up and wherever we want to go, psh, no problem.
I always care about one more than the other, even though it’s less important. Always becoming lazy in the priorities that mean the most. I’ve always made it a goal to set them straight. But it always slips my mind & everything falls apart again.